Refuse (2020)

Refuse Dean a year old female to male transsexual is no LGBT poster boy Unemployed depressed mid transition friendless and still living in the upstairs bedroom of his parents house in a conservative
  • Title: Refuse
  • Author: Elliott DeLine
  • ISBN: 9781463650926
  • Page: 336
  • Format: Paperback
  • Dean, a 22 year old female to male transsexual, is no LGBT poster boy Unemployed, depressed, mid transition, friendless, and still living in the upstairs bedroom of his parents house in a conservative suburb, he can think of little to do but write his memoir In the third person, he tells the tale of his would be love affair with his college roommate, Colin, another tranDean, a 22 year old female to male transsexual, is no LGBT poster boy Unemployed, depressed, mid transition, friendless, and still living in the upstairs bedroom of his parents house in a conservative suburb, he can think of little to do but write his memoir In the third person, he tells the tale of his would be love affair with his college roommate, Colin, another trans man with a girlfriend and a successful indie rock band The plot is interrupted intermittently by Dean s first person commentary, often criticizing middle class conformity but also the queer counterculture from which he feels equally alienated He is obsessed with Morrissey of The Smiths and wants nothing in life other than the same level of fame As his far fetched dreams become a foreseeable reality, he must decide between honesty and belonging, conformity or isolation, community or self.
    • [EPUB] ↠ Refuse | by ☆ Elliott DeLine
      Elliott DeLine

    One Reply to “Refuse”

    1. I loved this one Six stars This novel really spoke to my condition, so YMMV, but I will tell you why I liked it I will let you live vicariously through my reading experience As soon as I saw that Refuse was about a depressed young man who is transgender and obsessed with Morrissey, I knew that I had to read it But terrific subject matter does not neccessarily make a terrific self published novel, so I was also very apprehensive about this book Clearly before I even cracked the cover I had alread [...]

    2. Dean s Holden Caulfield attitude got on my nerves a whole awful lot, but the further I got into the book I started to disregard it and it began to bother me less because I was getting wrapped up in the story Based the first person pieces throughout the book, I could tell that none of this was going to end all that well My review is probably going to be a random assortment of what I thought of all the characters.First, TJ I m so, so glad that he was shown as such an annoying character People like [...]

    3. This was generally an enjoyable read, but suffered from a lot of structural and grammatical problems which could have been easily prevented if DeLine had bothered to hire a copy editor The cover photo was low quality and pixellated, which gives the whole thing an unprofessional, juvenile appearance DeLine didn t seem to have a whole lot of respect for the book itself, while also seeming to think of himself as the writer of a contemporary queer classic That s actually the problem I had with the w [...]

    4. Potentially really offensive and obnoxious , but it was thrilling to finally read a novel with characters whose lives are like mine trans queer.Also, the narrator hints at some really compelling issues of identity and being especially in the conversations between Dean and Teddy but then quickly retreats I would ve enjoyed further explorations of those themes Sure, I ve read tons theory about gender and transness, and I ve done a lot of thinking of my own, but sometimes I wonder what it all means [...]

    5. Summary Dean is not your average, run of the mill, happy go lucky, young adult Not only is he a transsexual male who questions his sexual preferences, but he seemingly hates everything around him, including himself Then again, having rage against the world and not knowing who he really is could be considered a common trait amongst many of today s youth What teenager or young adult doesn t feel awkward and out of place Sadly, it is Dean s discomfort and self hatred of himself that has him feeling [...]

    6. i love love LOVED this book I literally keep thinking about it, and I wish it was longer to keep reading I don t want to let go and say bye to Dean I just absolutely loved everything about this book the writing style kept me wanting to read .I loved the sarcasm, the quick witted come backs, and just the way i was kept engrossed into the story, and couldn t put it down And there were some moments where it had me questioning life, and society Also, I m from North Syracuse, as well, and i just kept [...]

    7. I love that I hated this book yet couldn t stop reading the trainwreck it became I hate that all the young people talked like they were in their forties and fifties or were living in the 1940s and 1950s I mean, I know they wore cardigans and some had money, but still was too much including the endless references to cardigans and they all sounded the same And if Dean bit his lip on time This book reminded me of Donna Tartt s The Secret History though without the murder or well crafted writing Ju [...]

    8. Like many coming of age books, this one has plenty of heavy handed, self pitying sections that make the author seem very full of himself But that s what it s like to be learning who you are and how you fit in to the world around you I had to remind myself of that, and when I did, I really liked the story.

    9. Dean, who named himself for his legendary hero, James Dean, takes a step back to narrate time in college he spent falling in and out of love with Colin Mahr, soon to be famous guitarist They re introduced on the assumption that the only two trans guys on their college campus would want to know each other, and they do hit it off Colin finds Dean s Holden Caulfield esque personality endearing rather than repulsive, as Dean insists many others have.To say they wind up in a love triangle with Maggie [...]

    10. Let me begin by saying that Refuse had a lot of potential DeLine is clearly skilled in prose, but the overall impression I received in reading this was that it could have benefited from substantial editing Yeah, I get that it s edgy and radical or whatever to self publish, but DeLine just doesn t get there with this novel One can maintain the indie image just as effectively through radical queer publishers of which there is a plethora.One of my chief criticisms of Refuse is the diatribe sandwic [...]

    11. So many transgender novels I have read are light, humorous, safe, but not this one The dark mood of this novel as an authenticity not often found in the genre, baring the self absorbed and sarcastically pitiable world view of late adolescents It follows transgender student Dean as he enters college and starts to find his fellow transmen Obsessed with the British indie rock band The Smiths Dean is drawn to his new roommate, himself a musician bound for success in the indie rock industry, also a t [...]

    12. Eccessivo, crudo, ossessivo Uno spaccato di eccessi giovanili, ricerca di identi e del s Forse ho superato l et in cui posso identificarmi Di sicuro i disagi, il male di vivere e le psicosi sono tipici di una generazione e non solo In particolare il problema identit di genere e transizione sono solo una delle tante sfaccettature del disagio Il protagonista potrebbe semplicemente essere, gay, nero, drogato o con turbe caratteriali Libro cupo, in cui nessuno si salva, in cui emergono le debolezze [...]

    13. This was a really nice surprise A coming of age novel about a trans FTM guy in college, coming to terms with his identity and relationships It avoids cliches and presents a broad variety of trans characters Dean, the narrator, is smart and cynical, spiky and hard to get to know His defensiveness is by turns off putting and charming Dean is also obsessed with Morrissey and The Smiths, and the book is littered with indie music references that added to its charm Ultimately I found it a moving and g [...]

    14. Confusion was a big theme of this book My inability to understand Dean s reasoning probably equaled his own Like a jigsaw puzzle for a brain, his outlook was scattered across the table, and finding a single piece of the puzzle was never enough to understand the whole picture that made up Dean.Does he like women, does he like men, or does he like transgender men or women Does Dean ever find closure and acceptance with himself Those are questions best answered by reading the book.

    15. I ve been trying for the better part of today to put my thoughts together in a way that forms a coherent review without just pulling quotes I still haven t really been able to, but I m going to give it a go.There s a quote about 84% of the way through That s the tragedy of Dean And I think that does begin to show you what this book is But I d say it s also the triumph of Dean.This story, Dean s story, is very human Very real.

    16. I had to make my way past the heavy self referentiality and teen angst to enjoy this story of the romantic travails of a group of contemporary queer and trans college kids Dean, our hero, is a fey and contrary fellow who loves the Smiths and is rebelling against whatever you got, which I m always going to appreciate There s a real voice here, and a sharp ear for dialogue, but the novel as a whole wants editing, badly Still, I ll be looking for from this young writer Elliot DeLine.

    17. I downloaded this a while back but did not get far into it Then, I read John Irving s new In One Person and thought Refuse would be a good followup Found it awkward to follow and while I enjoyed parts and hated others Glad I finished it although had it not been for Irving s book, I doubt I would have finished.

    18. This book was moving, sad, acerbic, and hysterically funny, and I enjoyed it immensely The main character is a young trans man in college struggling with feeling socially awkward and isolated, wrestling with his depression and doubts, vulnerability and attractions, based on experiences and feelings that I found very resonant as a trans woman Read this

    19. It s honest, and that s what makes it a good read There is absolutely no sugar coating when it comes to this book, which is what we all need once in a while, and the characters are relatable from the start I d absolutely recommend it.

    20. I ADORED THIS BOOK SO MUCH It was funny and cynical and dark and deep and emotional I really felt for Dean the entire time.

    21. I truly loved this book It spoke to my soul and I know it will speak to others if they can relate to the main characters

    22. I m glad this book exists Dean, for surely Dean is an excellent character The end is great The typos crushed me a little bit xo

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